Everyone dies. Everyone wants to be remembered after death as well. A small company in Detroit that makes memorial markers and headstones now specializes in Brony and Pony markers, for those who are Bronies for life.
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| Best Pony arguments are the leading cause of death in Detroit. |
With the new community of Bronies that have recently taken up residence in parts of the city, a few have been long in the tooth. They wanted their last years on Earth to be spent in an Equestrian paradise. It's natural that their eternal memory would be ponified as well. So they and their herd turned to a little company to make My Little Pony themed head stones.
Pastel Remembrances is a family-owned business, operating in Detroit since 1984. They have always received unusual requests, but filling these orders has never been in question. "We strive to make the process of memorials something that the deceased and their family and friends will be happy with. We don't pass judgement on those who have less conventional desires for commemoration." Says Sandy Pastel, the head manager and lead mason.
The community of Bronies in Detroit, which has been known for being secluded and distant from the rest of the city, usually leaves their enclaves only to attend conventions and occasionally buy more Doritos and Mountain Dew. So Pastel was surprised when a few came to her business with a request to make a marker with ponies. "I'd heard of them, and I thought the community was a little unusual, but but they never really seemed to bother anyone. They had the money up front too, so the commissioning was easy."
The marker in question, the first one of many, featured the Mane Six weeping over an image of the ghost of the OC of the deceased. Many since then have been made, each one more cringeworthy elaborate and colorful than the last. Many of them have had some variation of "Love and Tolerate For Eternity" above the name. "Most of them prefer the name of their horse avatar rather than their real name. I haven't even known the real names of some who passed." She says.
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| It's like this when Bronies die. Artist: PluckyNinja |
Pastel has received many orders, more than the number of bronies who could have possibly died in Detroit. Pastel says it isn't uncommon for people to have a headstone made before they die, as they want their affirmation of individuality to be perfect.
People frequently believe they are greater than they really are, so having a headstone that attests to their outsized sense of importance is expected.
But doesn't the existence of headstones prove that after all the pettiness, hatred, and fighting, none of that matters when the worms are having their way with us?
