On the same day Princess Celestia was re-elected to yet another term as sun goddess, an issue vote was held in the small town of Ponyville. The same town known for its affection for cider and chaos loosened the restrictions for the recreational use of marijuana. As a result, the confectioners of the town's premier bakery, Sugar Cube Corner, are ready to add new treats to their glass displays. And Sweet Apple Acres has a new crop added to the rotation!
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| New and improved ingredients! |
Cup Cake and Carrot Cake, who have run Sugar Cube Corner for fifteen years, immediately seized on the idea of adding the special ingredients to their prize winning treats. Today PBK found them getting the first batch of marijuana butter ready for mixing.
"We think there is nothing wrong at all with adults wanting to consume a little extra treat with their fritters. Why there were restrictions at all is beyond me." Carrot Cake said while pouring the batter for regular cupcakes into a pan. "Why should I care if Pinkie Pie is out getting stoned with Applejack in her barn on a Saturday night?" he paused. "I think that was a secret. Anyway, she's perfectly capable of coming to work and baking the goods every day. Now it's just going to be harder to keep her from licking the spatula!" He laughed.
Cup Cake handled the special ingredients in a different area. In addition to an apron, she wore a mask and rubber boots. "The stuff can easily get on your skin and fur and affect you when you don't want it to. I haven't done weed in ages, and I don't want to start again. Not with two foals to care for. But Ponyville is free to have all our special treats now. And I couldn't be happier."
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| No more of this shady dealing. |
I found Pinkie Pie bouncing home from the new palace where she serves on the council of friendship with Princess Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Elements of Harmony. "You're that reporter guy The Cakes told me about! Want some of my special muffins?" She pulled a pan of muffins from hammerspace and shoved it right in my face. "They have pot in them!" I declined, but thanked her anyway. "Oh well, not everypony wants to chill out. You probably have important work to do. But if that job gets to ya, you can always come by and get something good!" She shoved one in her muzzle and put the pan back in hammerspace. "Mmmm!"
"Wait, didn't you want to ask me something?" She said. I inquired about what it was like to work with something so exotic and what she thought it meant to Ponyville that the recreational use and growth of marijuana was no longer punished. "Oh, it's no big deal. My pastries have always been a work of art. I'm always happy to add new stuff to my repertoire. All my friends are happy too. You should see what it's like in that castle." She turned around to look at the sparkling new building, and kept staring. "Wow it really sparkles. Just like. Twilight. Sparkle. Hehehehehe!" The muffin was clearly getting to her.
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Wwwwhhhhooooaaaa
sparkly |
The loosened restrictions allow limited sales in establishments that have a proper license. They can only sell up to an ounce at a time, which is taken care of in Mr. And Mrs. Cakes' recipes. "We measure everything properly. Given the limit, I think we've been rather creative." Mr. Cake said. Just then, Mrs. Cake burst in the front door dramatically. "The Ponytones are throwing a concert, and they ordered 400 brownies! We have to cook!" A whirlwind of activity occurred around me, the establishment quickly filled with the smell of batter and marijuana, and I was promptly forgotten. I quietly left and went on the next part of my story.
If there are buyers, there have to be distributors, and they must be approved by Princess Celestia herself. One such distributor is Sweet Apple Acres. I met Applejack next to her front gate, where she was returning from the Castle of Friendship. "Our reputation as a heckuva good grower of things got lots of ponies askin' if we planned to grow mary jane. I didn't want to at first, but the opportunity came to legalize what we already had, uh, I mean start a new crop." She smiled awkwardly. "Turns out, ponies will pay lots of money for this!"
She took me to a remote corner of the farm, past orchards, corn fields, and pastures, to a field that had conspicuous security, to include razor wire fences and searchlights. "Ponies will steal this stuff. It's worth a lot of money." She said, eyeing me suspiciously. "But worth all the trouble. We can only sell certain strains, and they aren't even the best ones. We only have Blue September and Bananagram here, probably because those're Celestia and Luna's favorites. I don't think I shoulda said that."
She continued: "Anywho, I could grow Butterfly Sneeze, Soul of Appleoosa, and Las Pegasus Dream with the soil we got here. But that would require some crazy cross-breeding and graftin'. Not that our Earth Pony magic couldn't make it work. Zecora has been a real good consultant in that regard."
I was surprised at the depth of her knowledge of this subject, but I shouldn't have been. Farmers have quite the range of crops they need to know about. I asked if she ever partook in her own product. "Ya don't do whatcha sell, sugar cube."
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| Marveling at her new crop. |
A rustling sound interrupted us and muffled voices could be heard somewhere. Applejack's eyes went narrow. "Hmm. Where'd that come from?" Then a look of wide-eyed recognition came to her. "Applebloom! Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo! What in Tartarus are ya doin here? How'd you get in?!" The three fillies came from the weeds covered in dirt and leaves, rolling in a ball together fighting. "You said she'd never see us!""I didn't think she'd come!""Ya'll are gettin me in trouble with mah sister!"
Applejack shouted. "Enough! how'd ya get here?"
Applebloom looked sheepishly at her front hooves. "I know the code."
"I'll ask how you know later. What're ya'll doin' here? Fillies and Colts aren't even allowed 'round this stuff until they are older than ya'll."
"We were just trying to get out cutie marks in growing, you know, this stuff." Scootaloo said. The three looked at their flanks in unison, and groaned in disappointment at the blank fur.
I stifled a laugh, but went on with my journalism "How do you suppose that would work?"
"Well, it didn't, so it doesn't matter." Sweetie Belle replied.
"I don't care. Ya'll go back to the house. I'll be there soon to deal with you." Applejack said to them.
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Marijuana Growers! YAY!" They shouted in unison as they ran off, unperturbed by their failure and the trouble they were in.
"Sorry about that. What other questions ya got?"
I asked about how she goes about selling it. "After the harvestin' and dryin' and all that, we package it in tiny bags (Granny does that) and the inspectors come in to verify we ain't makin' bigger bags than we're allowed to. They stamp it for approval, and licensed retailers can come in and buy it for resale. I don't know why we can't just sell it to the general public. I suspect it's because Celestia's government can tax it at both transactions.
"Course, us bein' the only distributor in town means there ain't a lot of ponies competin' with our dank weed. Kinda makes us a legal cartel. And we got the backin' of the Princesses themselves, so nobody's complainin' anyway. Them Flim Flam Brothers are tryin', though. Always sellin' somethin' bad. I bet they got nothin' but stems and seeds in their product."
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| It's a lie. |
Applejack is clearly proud of her abilities, and has the knowledge and experience to back up her claims of having the best of everything she grows. The Apples should be quite successful at their latest venture. As long as no one destroys their barn.
The growing tolerance of certain drugs is an indication of how life in Equestria is changing and modernizing. While many ponies see it as a good thing that certain activities that many see as harmless will no longer be punished, apprehension remains. Many ponies' main concerns is the possibility of increased addiction and the dangers of activities like flying while toked.
There will certainly be consequences that were unforeseen, as there always with major legal changes, but one has to imagine that a populace that no longer wants to penalize adult behavior could be open to bigger things, such as taxation with representation, and a lowered drinking age.
But it's more likely that ponies just want to get stoned. And that's pretty cool too.
