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Classic Christmas Movies to be Re-Mastered... With Ponies

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        In a statement from Hasbro, the company has announced the arrival of four classic Christmas movies, watched and enjoyed by many families, re-mastered and re-cast with their very own lovable My Little Pony characters. Information on the cast, the thought process behind the marketing choice, and more after the break.
        Hasbro's choice to re-invent the classics has brought some critics to their doors, some complaining about it while others praise them for it. Twilight Sparkle, excited to be cast as the roll of The Ghost of Christmas Past in their remake of A Christmas Carol, had this to say: "It's a wonderful opportunity to introduce young audiences to classic movies that they may not enjoy otherwise. It allows them to see a wonderful story played by their favorite characters."

        Trixie Lulamoon, however, had some choice words for the directors at Hasbro after hearing that she will not be cast as a major roll in any of the movies. "They have decided to remake some classic movies in a vulgar way," she said to our reporter in Ponyville, "And ruin the memories of many adults and children by leaving out the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

       After Trixie was quickly and efficiently cunt-punted kindly escorted from the facility, we had a chance to meet with some of the directors of the movies. Celestia, the main director and liaison to Hasbro, admitted she was "excited to be given such an important role in the development of what [she] hopes will be a very successful holiday movie set".

       We also received a casting list from Celestia, detailing all of the major characters and their actors/actresses of the movie. With permission from Hasbro, we will be posting the list here now.

A Christmas Carol

Casting list:

Ebeneezer Scrooge - Discord
Tiny Tim - Snails
Bob Cratchit - Braeburn
Mrs. Cratchit - Apple Dumpling
Martha Cratchit - Scootaloo
Fezziwig - Soarin
Fred - Big Mac
Ghost of Christmas Past - Twilight Sparkle
Ghost of Christmas Present - Pinkie Pie
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come - Rarity
Fan - Fluttershy
Jacob Marley - Fancypants

        The other casting lists are still in the works, but we here at PBK have been assured that the Mane Six will all have parts in one movie or another. To top it all off, there will be some appearances from some of the princesses as well.
        In the end, we writers here at PBK are excited for the new movies, and hope they will be as well received with the public as they will be here.

EFN Shutting Down, Fandom to End AGAIN

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DUCK AND COVER
Yesterday, pony media giant Everfree Network announced that it will be shutting down.  I think we all know what this means.  Yes, it's time for the fandom to end again, pack up your plushies, and burn your posters, we're done here.


We've had fun writing satire for you for the last three decades, but since Everfree is leaving, I mean, we all have to leave too, right?  We know you'll miss us, and we only hope you can survive without us.  I know we're the only cheerful thing in your sad sad life, but sadly the time has come.

Even Dash is sad to see us go
It's only a matter of time until EQD and r/mylittlepony over on reddit shut down.  Eventually we'll have to shut down the whole internet.  I'm gonna go call Hasbro now and let them know that they should cancel season 5.  To all of you out there reading this, this is PBK, signing off for the last time.

Good night, and good luck.

Ponyville Loosens Restrictions on Marijuana Use; Sugar Cube Corner and Sweet Apple Acres Take Advantage.

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On the same day Princess Celestia was re-elected to yet another term as sun goddess, an issue vote was held in the small town of Ponyville. The same town known for its affection for cider and chaos loosened the restrictions for the recreational use of marijuana. As a result, the confectioners of the town's premier bakery, Sugar Cube Corner, are ready to add new treats to their glass displays. And Sweet Apple Acres has a new crop added to the rotation!
New and improved ingredients!
Cup Cake and Carrot Cake, who have run Sugar Cube Corner for fifteen years, immediately seized on the idea of adding the special ingredients to their prize winning treats. Today PBK found them getting the first batch of marijuana butter ready for mixing.

"We think there is nothing wrong at all with adults wanting to consume a little extra treat with their fritters. Why there were restrictions at all is beyond me." Carrot Cake said while pouring the batter for regular cupcakes into a pan. "Why should I care if Pinkie Pie is out getting stoned with Applejack in her barn on a Saturday night?" he paused. "I think that was a secret. Anyway, she's perfectly capable of coming to work and baking the goods every day. Now it's just going to be harder to keep her from licking the spatula!" He laughed.

Cup Cake handled the special ingredients in a different area. In addition to an apron, she wore a mask and rubber boots. "The stuff can easily get on your skin and fur and affect you when you don't want it to. I haven't done weed in ages, and I don't want to start again. Not with two foals to care for. But Ponyville is free to have all our special treats now. And I couldn't be happier."
No more of this shady dealing.
I found Pinkie Pie bouncing home from the new palace where she serves on the council of friendship with Princess Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Elements of Harmony. "You're that reporter guy The Cakes told me about! Want some of my special muffins?" She pulled a pan of muffins from hammerspace and shoved it right in my face. "They have pot in them!" I declined, but thanked her anyway. "Oh well, not everypony wants to chill out. You probably have important work to do. But if that job gets to ya, you can always come by and get something good!" She shoved one in her muzzle and put the pan back in hammerspace. "Mmmm!"

"Wait, didn't you want to ask me something?" She said. I inquired about what it was like to work with something so exotic and what she thought it meant to Ponyville that the recreational use and growth of marijuana was no longer punished. "Oh, it's no big deal. My pastries have always been a work of art. I'm always happy to add new stuff to my repertoire. All my friends are happy too. You should see what it's like in that castle." She turned around to look at the sparkling new building, and kept staring. "Wow it really sparkles. Just like. Twilight. Sparkle. Hehehehehe!" The muffin was clearly getting to her.
Wwwwhhhhooooaaaa
sparkly
The loosened restrictions allow limited sales in establishments that have a proper license. They can only sell up to an ounce at a time, which is taken care of in Mr. And Mrs. Cakes' recipes. "We measure everything properly. Given the limit, I think we've been rather creative." Mr. Cake said. Just then, Mrs. Cake burst in the front door dramatically. "The Ponytones are throwing a concert, and they ordered 400 brownies! We have to cook!" A whirlwind of activity occurred around me, the establishment quickly filled with the smell of batter and marijuana, and I was promptly forgotten. I quietly left and went on the next part of my story.

If there are buyers, there have to be distributors, and they must be approved by Princess Celestia herself. One such distributor is Sweet Apple Acres. I met Applejack next to her front gate, where she was returning from the Castle of Friendship. "Our reputation as a heckuva good grower of things got lots of ponies askin' if we planned to grow mary jane. I didn't want to at first, but the opportunity came to legalize what we already had, uh, I mean start a new crop." She smiled awkwardly. "Turns out, ponies will pay lots of money for this!"

She took me to a remote corner of the farm, past orchards, corn fields, and pastures, to a field that had conspicuous security, to include razor wire fences and searchlights. "Ponies will steal this stuff. It's worth a lot of money." She said, eyeing me suspiciously. "But worth all the trouble. We can only sell certain strains, and they aren't even the best ones. We only have Blue September and Bananagram here, probably because those're Celestia and Luna's favorites. I don't think I shoulda said that."

She continued: "Anywho, I could grow Butterfly Sneeze, Soul of Appleoosa, and Las Pegasus Dream with the soil we got here. But that would require some crazy cross-breeding and graftin'. Not that our Earth Pony magic couldn't make it work. Zecora has been a real good consultant in that regard."

I was surprised at the depth of her knowledge of this subject, but I shouldn't have been. Farmers have quite the range of crops they need to know about. I asked if she ever partook in her own product. "Ya don't do whatcha sell, sugar cube."
Marveling at her new crop.

A rustling sound interrupted us and muffled voices could be heard somewhere. Applejack's eyes went narrow. "Hmm. Where'd that come from?" Then a look of wide-eyed recognition came to her. "Applebloom! Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo! What in Tartarus are ya doin here? How'd you get in?!" The three fillies came from the weeds covered in dirt and leaves, rolling in a ball together fighting. "You said she'd never see us!""I didn't think she'd come!""Ya'll are gettin me in trouble with mah sister!"

Applejack shouted. "Enough! how'd ya get here?"

Applebloom looked sheepishly at her front hooves. "I know the code."

"I'll ask how you know later. What're ya'll doin' here? Fillies and Colts aren't even allowed 'round this stuff until they are older than ya'll."

"We were just trying to get out cutie marks in growing, you know, this stuff." Scootaloo said. The three looked at their flanks in unison, and groaned in disappointment at the blank fur.

I stifled a laugh, but went on with my journalism "How do you suppose that would work?"

"Well, it didn't, so it doesn't matter." Sweetie Belle replied.

"I don't care. Ya'll go back to the house. I'll be there soon to deal with you." Applejack said to them.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Marijuana Growers! YAY!" They shouted in unison as they ran off, unperturbed by their failure and the trouble they were in.

"Sorry about that. What other questions ya got?"

I asked about how she goes about selling it. "After the harvestin' and dryin' and all that, we package it in tiny bags (Granny does that) and the inspectors come in to verify we ain't makin' bigger bags than we're allowed to. They stamp it for approval, and licensed retailers can come in and buy it for resale. I don't know why we can't just sell it to the general public. I suspect it's because Celestia's government can tax it at both transactions.

"Course, us bein' the only distributor in town means there ain't a lot of ponies competin' with our dank weed. Kinda makes us a legal cartel. And we got the backin' of the Princesses themselves, so nobody's complainin' anyway. Them Flim Flam Brothers are tryin', though. Always sellin' somethin' bad. I bet they got nothin' but stems and seeds in their product."
It's a lie.
Applejack is clearly proud of her abilities, and has the knowledge and experience to back up her claims of having the best of everything she grows. The Apples should be quite successful at their latest venture. As long as no one destroys their barn.

The growing tolerance of certain drugs is an indication of how life in Equestria is changing and modernizing. While many ponies see it as a good thing that certain activities that many see as harmless will no longer be punished, apprehension remains. Many ponies' main concerns is the possibility of increased addiction and the dangers of activities like flying while toked.

There will certainly be consequences that were unforeseen, as there always with major legal changes, but one has to imagine that a populace that no longer wants to penalize adult behavior could be open to bigger things, such as taxation with representation, and a lowered drinking age.

But it's more likely that ponies just want to get stoned. And that's pretty cool too.

These MLP Knockoff Flash Games are Sure to be Fun For All Children and Scar Them For Life

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Do you want to care for a pony with a severe skin infection? Do you want to take care of a pony's horribly rotten teeth? Do you want to scare the living daylights out of children with a game that is actually aimed for them? Here at PBK we have found the way to take care of all of that with these knockoff flash games from www.mafa.com. Check them out after the break.
So much pink you'll puke. How bad could it be?
You just have to get past the inevitable ads that show up, because only the highest quality flash games have ads. And check out the grammar in the description! You're assured that only the best programmers wrote the code!

The first game we'll highlight is Pony Skin Care. I quote:
"Little Pony infected from skin allergy. Help her to cure from the allergy by giving her a good treatment. Finally dress her with the best outfit."
And the game play begins:
It puts the lotion on the skin...
How could it be bad for children to be taught that it's okay to mold another living creature into whatever image they want, using only the most disinterested, unsympathetic means possible? She'll love whatever dress you put on her. Because she can't say no. She's just glad you cured her leprosy.

The other game is Pony Dental Care. You play a dentist and must care for Pinkie's teeth. All of those years of eating sugar caught up to her.
This is for the evil, pain-loving ghoul that resides in all children.
You are given an assortment of tools to choose from, none of them gentle, and all of them designed for maximum pain. No Novocaine, no anesthesia, and not even a reassurance to her that everything will be all better when it's over.

Whether slathering her with a lotion of dubious curative power, or removing outrageously rotten teeth, your kids are sure to love, and be scarred for life, by these richly developed and fun games!

New Season Five Promo Clip Makes Bronies Question Rainbow Dash's Preferences Again

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Rainbow Dash has always been a polarizing character within the fandom. Some see her as confident, inspiring, and strong; always a good role model for children. Others see her as annoying, selfish, and overbearing; not such a good role model. Above all, there has always been The Big Question among fans about just what her 'preferences' are. Hasbro's new season five promo featuring her will only do more to bring those questions storming back. More info after the break.
If ya ain't first, you're last.
Artist: Xain-Russell
Though officially she hasn't been shown being in love with anything other than the sky, the rainbow colors, tomboyish personality, and strong competitiveness have lead many fans to speculate that Dashie is gay. Of course those character traits are possible among anyone and show that negative stereotypes go a long way with people.

With the latest promo, people will certainly start going crazy with ridiculous speculation again. As this fandom always does. In a three second spot in the clip, Rainbow Dash was shown with an equal sign as a cutie mark. Go to :16 to see it.

For those living in the dark, the equal sign is one of the symbols used by the gay pride movement, and rainbow colors have been used for decades by the movement to indicate all types of people are welcome. What we have now is an equal sign and rainbow colors all in one adorable pegasus pony.
"I'm starting to question myself..."
What does it mean? It could mean that Dashie is indeed gay, but would that subject ever end up in a children's show? Maybe she becomes a math genius. Maybe there is a way for ponies to change their cutie marks after discovering a new talent, meaning they aren't stuck in the life that impartial magic has thrust upon them, even if they didn't want that life.

Most of all it means Hasbro is trolling Bronies again, as they know people will eat up this stuff. You thought interest in the season was big before. Now we wait and wonder why in the world Rainbow Dash has an equal sign as a cutie mark. Good job, Hasbro, on making all of us even more eager to see just what you've got in store for us. You have us by the thumbs, and all we can do is laugh about it.
See, they're laughing too!

Identity of Peter New Stalker Exposed, Readers Shocked

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"Really Twitter?  Really"
Today, on December the 16th, 2014, our staff here at PBK have been hard at work to find the identity of the anonymous Peter New stalker.  We have contacted every source, scoured the depths of 4chan's /mlp/ board, and even sold our very souls to the Canadian Devil, Belzaboot.  But now, after 48 hours of constant work, we now know the identity!



The identity of the Peter New stalker is...PETER NEW HIMSELF.

I mean, who else could it be?
How we came to this conclusion?  Well first, we used logic by taking a look at Peter New's Facebook profile.  He tended to post fan pictures and stories from his life, allowing us to look into what the toiled with from day to day, and as he was a Canadian, he didn't toil with much.  On the page, we have seen a few joke posts, which caused a whole row of joke posts in the comments section, which, in turn, scared the typical Facebook user away.

An example of a joke post, drawn by Stigma-Photon

Because of the super serious environment that Facebook has had over the years, Peter New decided to spice things up with his own Twitter account.  However, he had the perfect cover for what he thought to be a perfect internet joke.  Only issue is, the joke wasn't funny.  The account @petersexynew posted many creepy pictures of Peter New, pictures that only Peter New would have.  Add this along with how the tweets on the accounts are written, and you have the perfect creeper fangirl.

This is something only Peter New would post.

"At first, I saw it as one big joke," Peter New told us once we caught onto his plan.  "But then it got out of control.  I get so many comments at the conventions I go to, that I wanted to re-post them on a safe account.  You know, just to make fun of them.  But then I had a thought.  If I could make this look believable, then I could be one of the greatest actors of all time!  I could be better than Leonardo DiCaprio, and I might even get an Oscar for this too!" We were thrown off at first, however.  We thought that the Twitter user @namineahtellai was the stalker at first, but after probeing her constantly, she came out with this public tweet, and told us to "Leave me alone you crazy dumb-ass troll!"

Notice that Peter New retweeted it.
"I told [the user] that I was the one behind it, but then she got mad and decided to blow my cover!  I'm glad you guys are the only ones that are going to know about this." We told Peter New that we would never post that he was behind the account, but come on.  This is PBK.  When have we ever been honest about anything?  In fact, we only found out about Peter New being behind all this by going to the highest peak in Vancouver, and summoning the Canadian Devil by selling him our souls for information.  "What?  Are you fookin blind budday?" Said Belzaboot when we summoned him.  "It was Peter New!  Any guy with a damn brain would be able to figure that out!" He then farted in our face as he returned to the depths of hell, taking our souls with him.  Still a better love story than Twilight.

As for Peter New, sorry Guy, but we don't have any souls.  Hope you enjoy your cover being blown!  Oh, and we are watching you.

Nice try New, but we see everything.



BABSCon Announces The Voice: Equestria Season 2 and JDL reschedule

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It’s time to whip out those vocal exercises because back this April, is Season 2 of The Voice: Equestria! We challenge you to show us what you’ve got in that mouth of yours, in the ultimate contest of audible creativity. Make it to the final round and the woman of a 1,000 voices herself, Tara Strong and her friends get to hear your vocal talent, on stage, in lights, in front of a live audience at BABSCon. But we don’t want to hear your best impressions of Twilight or Pinkie, we want your own characters out of your own head. That’s right, we want your OCs. So, do you have what it takes to impress Tara and our other Guests of Honor? 

If you, brave and talented soul, are attending BABSCon this April and wish to enter, submit to us a short YouTube video of yourself strutting your stuff and that wicked tongue of yours, then tweet a link of that video to @babsconsf w/ hashtag #TheVoiceEquestria , or post to our Facebook, to grab the pre-contest judges’ attention. Finalists will be chosen to compete and perform in front of a panel of our Guests of Honor for the grand prize and the title of being The Voice of Equestria.

The Rules: 

  1. You must be attending BABSCon in person and be 18 or over to be eligible.
  2. To enter, upload a video to YouTube (or similar service) of no more than 3 minutes in length displaying your range as a VA* (Note: This is NOT“mimic as many ponies from MLP:FiM as possible”…we want distinct characters with a variety of pitches, tonalities, accents, etc.).
  3. Tweet a link of your video to @babsconsf with the hashtag #TheVoiceEquestria, or post to our Facebook, to submit it, and send an email to pr@babscon.com with your name, BABSCon badge name, email address, and phone number.
  4. Our staff will select finalists from the submissions to compete on stage, live at BABSCon, where Tara Strong herself plus two more of the show's VAs will audition you!
  5. Finalists from The Voice: Equestria Season 1 are not eligible.

We’ll be accepting entries from now until 1/31/15.

*By submitting an entry for The Voice: Equestria, you grant BABSCon permission to use your video, or any portion of it, for promotional purposes, though ownership of the video remains yours.

We also have some bittersweet news for you. Due to his RAW ACTING TALENT, John de Lancie will be reprising his role in a theatrical production of the play, Mr. Wolf, whose run includes the weekend of BABScon 2015. He returns to his role as the title character which he played at the 2014 Pacific Playwrights Festival last April. The run was so successful, that they called him back for a longer run in 2015:

“Unfortunately, and with much disappointment on his part, John de Lancie must postpone his appearance at BABSCon until 2016 due to a work conflict that has just arisen. He has been cast in an exciting play, which will be in preparation and performance during the period of the convention. He truly regrets he won’t be able to attend the show in 2015, but he looks forward to 2016. Imagine how many more tales he will have to tell by then! As soon as the official announcement of his appearance in the play is announced, we will post the link here. He would love to see some MLP fans at the play (it is called Mr. Wolf and is a really great role for John!). He sends his best wishes and will see you all in 2016 at BABSCon!”

See? It’s not all bad. Mr. de Lancie is excited to appear at BABSCon in 2016, plus BABCon has been presented with the opportunity to book even more of the fantastic people that bring us the magical world of Equestria and My Little Pony into our lives! And starting now, we plan to announce new guests and contests every 5 days! Discord or not, BABSCon 2015 will be bigger and better than ever! And don’t forget, you could be our next big VA on stage with The Voice: Equestria. The competition starts now!


The Bay Area Brony Spectacular (BABSCon) is the first convention devoted to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic in the San Francisco Bay Area. In our first year, we became the second-largest MLP con anywhere, and we’re back for our second year April 3–5, 2015 at the SFO Hyatt Regency in Burlingame, CA. Email info@babscon.com for more information!
babscon.comwww.facebook.com/babsconsfwww.twitter.com/babsconsf

'My Little Pony' Mentioned on Doctor Who. Crossover Soon?

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The latest Christmas special of the hit BBC series Doctor Who mentioned My Little Pony. Santa Claus, or Father Christmas as he is called in places that aren't America, threatened to use ponies in some way. Probably as a means to make the Doctor accept the magic of friendship.
This has nothing to do with it. I just want you to go below the break.
Artist: AWildDrawfagAppears

As you can see, this video proves that the people of Doctor Who are listening to Bronies and incorporating ponies into their show. What else could this line with no context mean?

EXCLUSIVE Deleted Scene From Rainbow Rocks Found

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We here at PBK love to bring you funny pony videos, so we were pleased when we got this EXCLUSIVE deleted scene from 'Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks' (AKA Jem for Millennials) to share with our readers! For you ten readers, enjoy this belated holiday gift after the cut!


BABSCon Announces Totally NOT A Pod Pony Andrea Libman As Guest!

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PBK is currently investigating a number of claims regarding the existence of so-called "pod ponies." These doppelgangers, it is said, take the form of normal ponies, mimicking them to such a degree that only a keen eye can distinguish between duplicates and the original.

Forensic specialists struggle to identify qualities setting duplicates apart from the originals.


As we research this frightening trend, have a press release from BabsCon after the break about their latest guest whom we SWEAR isn't really one of these "Pod Ponies" in disguise!


It’s Just Not a Party Without Andrea Libman, So BABSCon Got Her!

Libman600px.png

Are you ready for a Boxing Day miracle? After all of the Hearth’s Warming presents were opened, we found a big, beautifully-wrapped box today. And, to our surprise and delight, it had Andrea Libman in it!

So we thought we’d share her with all of you at BABSCon this April.

You all know this smart, talented, UBCP/ACTRA Award-winning actress as both Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, but she’s also voiced the titular Madeline in The New Adventures of Madeline and Andraia on the classic ReBoot, as was a regular on children’s shows such as Dragon Tales, Care Bears: Adventures in Care-A-Lot, and Strawberry Shortcake.

She’s a fixture on the MLP con circuit because, let’s face it, no pony party is complete without Pinkie Pie. Her presence guarantees that attendees will have the best of times with her double Mane-6 party power. With Andrea joining fellow Guests of Honor Tara Strong, Cathy Weseluck, Claire Corlett, Ian James Corlett, Brian Drummond, Brynna Drummond, Tony Fleecs, and Heather Breckel, it’ll be an experience that’s not to be missed.

So, register now and prepare to fire those party cannons!

The Bay Area Brony Spectacular (BABSCon) is the first convention devoted to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic in the San Francisco Bay Area. In our first year, we became the second-largest MLP con anywhere, and we’re back for our second year April 3–5, 2015 at the SFO Hyatt Regency in Burlingame, CA. Contact info@babscon.com for more information!
babscon.comwww.facebook.com/babsconsfwww.twitter.com/babsconsf

Canterlot New Year's Eve to Have Record Amounts of Glitter and Rainbows, The Princesses Celebrate Immortality

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Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and the high class society of Canterlot are excited to announce that this year's New Year's Eve celebration will be the sparkliest and most colorful yet. With larger glitter cannons and the most rainbow production from Cloudsdale's Weather Factory ever for the event, the princesses hope to make the new year the shiniest one yet, which is a big hope considering they have celebrated countless new years.
This is only the beginning.
Artist: Zortail
The top party planners from all around Equestria have been involved with creating the event. "We're very excited to see that everypony wants to make this the best new year ever!" Princess Celestia said from her throne. "I have had thousands of these celebrations, and they never cease to disappoint me, despite time being a mere game to my sister and me."

Princess Luna agreed "Knowing that the lives of these ponies is but a glint in our lifetimes is what makes these events so much more special. Adding more shining items is our attempt to let ponies forget they have such a short amount of time available."

Perhaps having seen many generations pass by is what allows the princesses to be able to celebrate with so much abandon. They can also afford to throw whatever they desire at any celebration and not worry about the consequences.
The glitter will go for eternity, just like Equestrian royalty.
The rainbows being created by the pegasi of Cloudsdale's Weather Factory appear to be of the highest quality yet. The head of the Factory, who preferred to remain anonymous in a mask, is proud of their contribution. "We really do make the coolest rainbows n' stuff. It helps keep our society in line and happy, especially the foals. We love having foals." A wide, toothy grin appeared under the mask. "Sometimes I wonder if what we do makes as much of a mockery of life as the eternal existence of our royalty, but then I remember that rainbows are awesome and beautiful, and everyone loves them!"

This is only an example of how expansive this collaborative effort is. Music, entertainment, and food are all a part of this massive, debauched celebration of our short, transient lives. On the music side, the famous DJ Pon3 will lead a huge dance and concert in Canterlot's center square. Glowsticks have already sold out in the city.
And the bass cannon is ready.
Artist: Ninga-bob
Mr. and Mrs. Cake have prepared a massive amount of baked goods for the event. Somehow they made enough food for nearly 75,000 ponies. "As soon as you're born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time." Mr cake said as he played his panpipes.

This event is sure to be yet another celebration of how awesome it is to be Equestrian, and helps to forget that the end of the year is one year closer to the end of our finite time The gods will laugh at our feckless attempts to live a little longer.

Happy New Year!
Your existence is a joke to them.
Artist: Vector - Brony

New MLP-Themed Dethklok Tribute Band Announced (Also Roy is a Very Evil Person)

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Today is a great day for the PBK staff.  I just found out today that we are going to be taking on another project.  Ladies and gentlemen, this is our gift to you.  Starting today, we here at PBK are now known as....DETHKLOP: The Tribute to Dethklok.

THE MOST BRUTAL





How did we come up with this idea?  Well first off, you have to understand that the only MLP themed band out there is a Beatles tribute band and they're only allowed to play at cons because they play actual music.  In a world filled with remix upon remix upon remix, it's wonderful to sit back and listen to a classic rock song being sung very poorly by a bunch of fedora-wearing young adults.  This is the magic that people like Mic The Microphone, Mando Pony, and the Living Tombstone will never be able to create.  So after we saw their success, and after seeing the McDonald's themed Black Sabbath band, we decided that bronies needed more brutal music.

Behold, Mac Sabbath, our inspiration 


We will be practicing constantly to master all the hit songs by Dethklok, including EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, and we will fill your ears with the glorious brutality that every brony would want for Christmas.  Our first offical concert will be at BronyCon 2015.  And bring your body bags, because there will be blood.  No really.  We are actually going to play it as if we are at an actual Dethklok concert.  Don't worry though, we already have wavers ready so that you can enjoy our music, and that we will still be able to make more of it!

Simulation of BronyCon event


Also in other news, we had a gift exchange and I got 2 cans of the MOST RARE UK HIENZ MLP SPAGHETTI.  I'm so happy about my gift, that I'm even going to write a song about it for our tribute band.  Here's a preview of what I'm working on.

My palms are sweaty
Knees weak
Arms are heavy
It's coming out of my pockets already
Roy's spaghetti



Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Pickle Barrel Kumquat!  Here's to another year full of MLP related satire!


Happy *New* Year: BABSCon Announces Peter New For 2015

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With a fanfair and a bad pun, BABSCon has announced that, eeyup, Peter New will attend BABSCon 2015! Details below the break.

BABSCon Wishes You a Happy Peter New Year!

Peter_New_Years.png

BABSCon is excited to set off the fireworks, spin the buzzers and pop the cork for the New Year, and who better to do it with than Peter New! This year at BABSCon, we want to celebrate not only the iconic, the memorable, and the magical people and moments that have made this fandom what is, but also the “New” show staff, bronies, and projects that are moving our fandom into not only a fun new year, but a bright future. Because of this, Peter is helping us ring in the new year with the start of many more exciting announcements from BABSCon.

Peter’s iconic “Eeyup” has brought such life and character to MLP:FiM’s Big Macintosh, who is he is arguably one of the most beloved male characters of the show.  But Peter New isn’t just a one “Eeyup” kinda guy. Many of the other stallions we meet are voiced by Peter as well, including Rarity’s dad…plus dear old Apple auntie Goldie Delicious. And, just this last year, Peter had an amazing musical number on “Filli Vanilli.” Lest anyone forget, last year Peter also arrived at BABSCon’s Saturday VA panel as the glorious Princess Big Mac.

In addition to his “apple” acting, Peter New is the speaking and singing voice of Sunil Nevla on Littlest Pet Shop, made on-screen appearances on shows such as Psych, Stargate SG-1, Dead Like Me, and Point Blank, and even had a Leo Award Nominated role as Donald Dirk in Sunflower Hour.

Peter joins our other Guests of Honor, including Tara Strong, Cathy Weseluck, Claire Corlett, Ian James Corlett, Brian Drummond, Brynna Drummond, Daniel Ingram, Steffan Andrews, Tony Fleecs, and Heather Breckel. Register now at registration.babscon.com

Everyone at BABSCon wishes you a Happy Peter New Year!

The Bay Area Brony Spectacular (BABSCon) is the first convention devoted to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic in the San Francisco Bay Area. In our first year, we became the second-largest MLP con anywhere, and we’re back for our second year April 3–5, 2015 at the SFO Hyatt Regency in Burlingame, CA. Contact info@babscon.com for more information!
babscon.comwww.facebook.com/babsconsfwww.twitter.com/babsconsf

TODAY: Ask con founders, artists ANYTHING for charity!

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Ever wanted to pick the brains of the founders of BronyCon or BABSCon-- really ask them anything, candidly, and get an answer? (Maybe even some gossip from the REALLY early days of the fandom?)

Ever wanted to talk to some of the most well-known artists and fan VAs in the fandom, including a syndicated, published comics creator?

Today is your chance-- for charity!

For those following the news, 2014 ended on a sad note for the LGBT community, with the widely publicized suicide of transgender teenager Leelah Alcorn. Our fandom has more than its statistical share of trans* folk, making this hit close to home for plenty of pony people

Today (Jan 1, 2015) at 3PM Eastern/noon Pacific, join BronyCon founder Purple Tinker, BABSCon founder SonyaLynn, artist & fan VA Jitterbug Jive, and beloved comics artist (& official EFNW artist) Dana Simpson for your chance to pick their brains for charity!

Here's how it will work:

For every $20 you donate (every penny of which, less any Paypal fees, will be sent to the Transgender Human Rights Institute), you get to ask one (1) of the panelists one (1) question, subject to the following limits:

Dana Simpson (comics artist, official EFNW artist) will answer any question about any of the following:
[1] Any of her comics or other art, or other aspects of her career (barring anything under NDA or other similar restrictions).
[2] Her own transition, or transgender issues in general.

JitterWhooves/BaldDumboRat (artist, fan voice of Derpy) will answer any question about any of the following:
[1] Any of his comics or VA work.
[2] Any transman/transmasculine issues.
[3] Pansexuality
[4] Questions about abuse

Purple Tinker (BronyCon & Bronies-NYC founder, Ponycon co-founder, podcast host) will answer any question about any of the following:
[1] The founding of BronyCon, Bronies-NYC or Big Apple Ponycon (besides personal information on show staff or other individuals)
[2] The Old Grey Mare or her other charity work.
[3] Her own transition, or transgender issues in general.

Sonya Lynn (BABSCon founder) will answer any question about any of the following:
[1] Anything about BABSCon, barring that which is under NDA or otherwise restricted access.
[2] Anything else, except personal information on other people or anything pertaining to EFN staff

The recipient of this money, The Transgender Human Rights Institute, is working to promote "Leelah's Law", which would ban anti-transgender "conversion therapy" that attempts to force transgender and gender-questioning/gender-variant youth to conform to their birth-assigned gender. It was this sort of coercive "therapy", plus the impact of non-supportive parents and community members, which led to Leelah's tragic suicide. Join us to help build a world where everyone is free to live their lives in the gender[s] they are most comfortable in.


Join the whole crew today at 3PM Eastern/noon Pacific on Ponyville Live or PonyTonite. Both stream pages will have a link to the donation page where you can give (in $20 increments) and submit your questions to the panelists!

Unicon Possibly NOT Moving To Detroit Due To Brony Cyber Attack

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A few weeks ago we published the bombshell that Unicon was moving to Detroit. This news, of course, was met by Detroit bronies--as well as the whole state of Michigan's brony population--in an expected way. We were amazed at the overall reaction from all the bronies, but it seems there's been an unexpected snag.
Unicon's Staff After the Last Convention...

More on this after the cut!


It seems that to "protect Detroit from more harm", a cyber branch of of the bronies working to save Detroit have purchased www.LasPegasusUnicon.com, and are offering it for sale for $1,995.

Sometimes the truth is funnier than any fiction we can make up...

We e-mailed the seller, and they were quite friendly. "We just want to protect Detroit," the brony named 'Computer Glitch' began in our skype call interview. "There were some rumors about how the Unicon staff ran things in Las Vegas.  So we purchased the domain and offered it for sale to help protect our fair city."
Mmmnm, fresh drama.... Let's read on!

When we asked Computer Glitch about the price, they just laughed. "Well, that's the price of a VA's appearance fee at most cons. If they were able to show they have at least that much, we'd have nothing to worry about, and would happily refund the money directly towards a guest to get them to come to our lovely city! Plus then the Detroit bronies would happily help in funding this convention!"
Detroit Bronies at hearing this news...

We tried to reach those behind Unicon--and its move to Detroit--but due to the domain name purchase, the e-mail we had for them no longer works. If the Unicon staff wish to reach us with a NEW e-mail address to address this, they can reach us at submit@picklebarrelkumquat.com.

As for the bronies working to save Detroit, rumor has it they are working to make their OWN convention completely unaffiliated with Unicon. Instead they look to be working with Detroit's very own YoumaCon to make sure the rumors surrounding Unicon DOESN'T happen to them. We at PBK promise to keep covering this breaking convention news story, and wish the Detroit bronies the best of luck in whichever convention represents them.


News in Pictures: My Little Pony Bouncy Castles, With Art by John Joseco

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Be careful letting your children into these bouncy houses. First, because they are manufactured in a place where no one cares about things like safety and intellectual property, and also because of the risk of certain associated characters.

My wings are so pretty, let's fly to the bouncy castle!
Would Molestia even be interested? Maybe it should be all adults inside this castle just to be safe. And it might be even more fun anyway!
She's not so bad, see?
Artist: John Joseco
These knockoff jump-ons have art stolen straight from John Joseco. Which raises the question: Who has had their IP infringed upon? Joseco, or Hasbro? Either way, we all lose.

Molly is waiting for you.



Netflix to End the Run of Pony, Fandom Ends AGAIN! UPDATE: NO IT HASN'T!

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WELL THAT WAS FAST! Mainstream media is now reporting that Netflix will probably keep pony because we can't stop bothering them. Don't you guys have lives?! It's Saturday night!
Mainstream media reports that Netflix will indeed end streaming for Friendship is Magic, effective on February 2nd. As we know, it is hard to find streaming and downloads for any of your favorite shows, so this can only mean that the fandom is dead. Over. Gone.
And you don't even get to keep your wings.
We have confirmed the end by doing some investigating reporting (by means of using our own Netflix account). It's been a fun ride, but because the Big Streaming companies can't seem to keep their abilities to run our favorite show, it comes to an end.
Can you read that?
Just like the last time the fandom ended, it comes with a bittersweet feeling. We know that everything must come to an end, and that life goes on. It also comes with the knowledge that our feelings of rage and hatred for those who can no longer feed us constant gifts of joy are justified, and we must visit Netflix headquarters with piles and piles of pizza they never ordered.
This free food will make them think twice about it!
Fan made content will slowly come to a halt, cosplays will degrade, and cons will go belly up. Our satire will no longer be noticed by anyone. Season 5 is probably canceled, since it won't be streamed anyway.
"Yeah, maybe I can finally move on with my career now!"
We'll try to bring you something funny, but with ponies not taking over the internet anymore, we may end up with nothing but cats and thug life videos.

Happy Birthday To Us! Enjoy An Exclusive Clip Of Season 5!

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One year ago today, we started this site to be The Onion of My little Pony news. Too many of the "Serious News Sites" and "Mainstream Media" take themselves too seriously, so we began to lighten things up. In that time a challenger has appeared, but we promise to continue doing our own thing regardless!

Thank you all for reading, and here's to another fun-filled year of satire & humor for all you out there! In thanks, have an exclusive clip of Season 5 from us to you!


My Little Pony Season 5 Exclusive Clipby roygbivlp




Talk to an Author About the Plot Discrepancies in Her Novels: Hit the Books G.M. Berrow at BABSCon!

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Are you the type to pick apart every little detail about a book? Now you can do that with the author! G.M. Berrow will be attending BABSCon!

Can you get enough of the very best in pony-based literature? We thought not…’cuz neither can we! There’s a very good reason Hasbro chose the amazing G.M. Berrow to write the official My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic novels, and it’s because she’s just plain awesome.

A Literature graduate from Princeton University, Berrow’s bibliography expands on the backgrounds of your favorite characters. She’s the author of Pinkie Pie and the Rockin’ Ponypalooza Party!, Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell, The Daring Do Adventure Collection, Rainbow Dash and the Daring Do Double Dare, Applejack and the Honest-to-Goodness Switcheroo, Rarity and the Curious Case of Charity, the novelization of Equestria Girls: Through the Mirror, and the just-released Fluttershy and the Fine Furry Friends Fair. Her upcoming work includes Princess Celestia and the Summer of Royal Waves, and Discord and the Ponyville Players Dramarama, and a Pinkie Pie episode for Season 5. Are you nervouscited? We are!

So, bring your bring your books to be signed and your questions for a fantastic writer. She joins our spectacular lineup of Guests of Honor including Tara Strong, Andrea Libman, Cathy Weseluck, Peter New, Claire Corlett, Ian James Corlett, Brian Drummond, Brynna Drummond, Daniel Ingram, Steffan Andrews, Tony Fleecs, and Heather Breckel, so register now!

The Bay Area Brony Spectacular (BABSCon) is the first convention devoted to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic in the San Francisco Bay Area. In our first year, we became the second-largest MLP con anywhere, and we’re back for our second year April 3–5, 2015 at the SFO Hyatt Regency in Burlingame, CA. Contact info@babscon.com for more information!
babscon.comwww.facebook.com/babsconsfwww.twitter.com/babsconsf

News in Pictures: Rainbow Rocks 3 to be so F*****g Metal!

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This recent image from the Equestria Girls line shows that Hasbro is going hard on showing that our little ponies (and girls) are more some kind of tea party and nice china loving wilting flowers.

Clearly the power pop that has defined the Equestria Girls franchise is going out of style. Rainbow Rocks has taken on a new meaning! Look at Twilight and Pinkie holding heir hands in a Devil-may-care Metal sign. Ronnie James Dio would be proud.








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